I found this over at
The Pen and Parchment, who found it at
Hidden Doorways.
The rules:
1. I pick three characters
2. I make my characters answer these questions
3. I tag three people
So--- I've picked 3 characters from a work-in-nonprogress:
Colonel Natalia Oblonskaya (Lady Natalia, head of the Oblonsky Organization, also a homicide cop.)
Raoul Oblonsky (son of Natalia, actor, spaceship pilot)
Jamison (the manservant)
Question 1: Do you want a hug?
Natalia: Do you want a kick in the [bleep]?
Raoul: No thank you.
Jamison: Anytime, sweetie.
Question 2: Do you have any kids?
Natalia: My twins Raoul and Ellie--- Ellie was murdered eight years ago. And my foster daughter Mina. I guess you have to count her though I never intended her to be a child of mine.
Raoul: Kids--- I hope not. I'm only sixteen, and I don't fool around with girls. Mind you I do know my genetic material is preserved in the family genetics lab and if they did something with it I'm not sure they'd tell me.
Jamison: Had four kids, but they don't speak to me at all no more. Which I pretty much understand. I wasn't much of a father during my drinking days.
Question 3: Have you killed anyone?
Natalia: Loads! The funniest time was when I was pregnant with the twins, and I summoned every enforcer, hitman and deleter in the Kassavi Sector to a convention--- offered 'em free booze and hot and cold running hookers. When they got there, I turned out the lights, locked the doors, and when the shooting stopped I sent in the morgue wagons.
Seriously, as a homicide investigator, prime class, with zeta-level telepathy, I am fully authorized to kill any murderer I encounter. Mind you, I prefer taking my serial killers alive. Adds to the sport.
Raoul: I don't want to talk about it.
Jamison: Leave the boy alone! He don't want to talk about them kind of things. Don't want to talk about the incident myself, there was blood and broken glass all over the hallway. But far as I'm concerned anyone who'd try to kill kids had it coming.... Me? No, course not. I never killed nobody, don't even want to see pictures of it, like I keep telling the Lady, if she'd only keep them crime scene holos of hers locked up stead of spread out all over the kitchen tables, maybe the cook wouldn't have quit.
Question Four: Love anyone?
Natalia: I love my kids and my brother Remi. My brother Danton? Well, I don't actively want to kill him, does that count as love?
Raoul: There was this girl--- she'd been Mina's girlfriend but they broke up, and I was trying to get them back together because Mina was just miserable and so she was making everybody around her miserable, and, you know, well, things happen but I did NOT steal my foster sister's girlfriend. I mean when she's screaming at the top of her lungs how she wants to wrap an anchor around the girl's neck and throw her in the sea, I presumed that meant it was over between them.
Mina: What part of 'evil soulless phrag-eating bitch' did you interpret as me recommending you go out with her?
Jamison: Kids! Cut it out! And Mina you're not even supposed to be here. Love? Well, I must of loved my wife--- ex-wife--- or thought I did.
No, I do NOT love Lady Natalia, or have a crush on Lady Natalia. I prefer gals who DON'T kill five men before breakfast. I'm just not a morning person.
Question Five: What is your job?
Natalia: Homicide cop. The acting thing was just a kid thing. Plus I'm the same dress size as my brother Remi and sometimes I'd get to keep the costumes which of course I shared with him.
Raoul: Actor. And manager of the Company B theatrical company. Or I would be if my grandfather hadn't stolen my theatrical company out from under me. I'm kind of between gigs until the lawsuits over that get finished. Oh, and my foster sister Mina thought it would be a kick for us to join the military, so now I'm a pilot with the Fleet and she blows stuff up for a living--- excuse me, she's the weapons officer--- on the Fleet ship Lina Lamont.
Jamison: I'm NOT the butler. People just say that because every time someone rings the door bell folks say 'Jamison if you want to be the butler answer the [bleeping] door'. But I'm not the butler. Not even close.
Raoul: I tell people you are the manservant.
Mina: I thought you just lived in our house.
Natalia: He started out as a stalker, but I promoted him from stalker to nanny. Temporarily.
Mina: But we don't need a nanny anymore!
Jamison: What makes you think it's you kids I'm nannying?
Question Six: Your favorite season?
Natalia: I don't care. Serial killers are always in season.
Raoul: There are no seasons in space. And when we land on a planet, it's always bad weather.
Jamison: Any season I don't have to shovel or sweep up's fine with me.
Question Seven: Who's your best friend?
Natalia: Don't have one. Want to hear about my mortal enemies?
Raoul: My sisters.
Mina: Thanks.
Ellie: But you like ME best, right. You probably only include her because you're afraid she'll shoot you with a laser cannon or a mass torpedo, right?
Mina: She's saying something, isn't she?
Jamison: All the world's my friend. But the Lady is the one who saved my life.
Question Eight: Hobbies?
Natalia: Besides collecting serial killers? Collecting historical royal DNA. That's how my daughter Ellie was conceived--- and I passed along some DNA to Mina's mother as well.
Raoul: collecting James Cagney memorabilia, and making telepathic contact with inanimate objects.
Jamison: I play a little cards every now and then. That's how I won my pet elephant.
Question Nine: What are you going to do when this tag is over?
Natalia: I've got to see a man about a corpse.
Raoul: When my duty shift is over I'm going to sit back, relax, watch a James Cagney movie and file more lawsuits against my grandfather.
Jamison: I'm going to cook a little dinner, seeing as how the cook's quit. But anyone that don't treat the kids right, they can go cook their own damn dinner.
Question Ten: What is your eye color?
Natalia: You mean right now?
Pulls out mirror. Sort of orangy-yellow. But then I'm in a bad mood.
Raoul: Usually sort of metallic gold--- it's not my mood or anything, my eyes just kind of got stuck on that color when.... But sometimes they're back to normal and change with my mood like everyone else's.
Jamison: Brown. Always brown. And beautiful.
Question Eleven: Are you good or bad?
Natalia: Yes.
Raoul: I try not to kill people any more.
Mina: We think he's allergic to killing people. But I'm not.
Jamison: "For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God."
Natalia: That's no answer.
Jamison: YOU should talk.
Question Twelve: What is your greatest fear?
Natalia: That people will be killed because I didn't act fast enough.
Raoul: What I fear most has already happened.
Jamison: That I ruint my kids permanent by how I carried on during my drinking days.
Question Thirteen: What do you think of your parents?
Natalia: I hate my father. But that's all right. Everyone who knows my father hates him. I'm amazed every time I see him and notice that no one has as yet chopped him up into seventeen small pieces. My mother, on the other hand, was a saint. She'd have to be to have married my father.
Raoul: I admire my mother. As for my fathers, Seraphim is a saintly monk, Gianni is a mob boss, and my third father, according to my mother, is none of my business.
Jamison: My parents were fine Christian folk. Feel like I really let them down, and I'm sorry that they didn't live to know me as I am now, cured of the drinking and all.
Question Fourteen: Any siblings?
Natalia: Two brothers, five sisters, and Remi. My sisters don't like it if I count Remi as a sixth sister, and if I count him as a brother he'll run off in tears and lock himself in the nearest women's restroom. So--- two brothers, six sisters.
Raoul: My twin Ellie, and my foster sister Mina.
Jamison: None of them have spoken to me in years.
Question Fifteen: Was it fun to answer all these questions?
Natalia: No. It's about as much fun as filling out a 'shots fired' report. Speaking of which, Raoul, you are about two years behind on filling out my 'shots fired' reports.
Raoul: You never tell me why you shot them.
Natalia: Because I [bleeping] felt like it.
Jamison: Can't you get a rubber stamp with that on it and fill out your own damn reports?
Question Sixteen: Do you have any weaknesses?
Natalia: No.
Raoul: None I care to talk about.
Jamison: I have a weakness for a good chicken fried steak.
Question Seventeen: Your favorite element
Natalia: The element of surprise.
Raoul: Molybdenum.
Ellie: Molybdenum's an element? I thought it was a brand of absinthe.
Raoul: It's an element, look it up.
Ellie: How am I supposed to look it up? I'm DEAD. And mama won't let me use the computers, it messes them up somehow.
Jamison: You talking to one of them ghosts again, huh? Not sure I'd even WANT that special gift, seeing ghosts. Ain't natural.
Ellie: If you think SEEING a ghost is tough, try being one.
Question Eighteen: Do you care what others think of you?
Natalia: No.
Raoul: I just hope they don't want to harm me or anyone I love.
Jamison: I'm just so used to folks being disappointed in me, I try not even to think about that any more.
Question Nineteen: Your Theme Song
Natalia: Another One Bites the Dust
Raoul: I Fought the Law and the Law Won
Jamison: I'll Fly Away. Not that I hold to that Rapture stuff, but it's a pretty song.
Question Twenty: What's Your Species?
Natalia: I'm from the Old Families, a Psion. Which some people don't count as human.
Raoul: Unsure, since mama won't even tell me who all of my fathers are.
Natalia: Raoul, my private genetic life is none of your business.
Mina: I'm the rightful Queen of Bavaria. Does that count as a species?
Ellie: I was the rightful Queen of Bavaria FIRST.
Raoul: Mina, Ellie--- Bavaria is no longer a monarchy so who cares?
Mina: Is Ellie still here? Tell her she's not the Queen anymore because she's dead so she's a ghost and doesn't count. Otherwise our father would still be king or his father or.....
Jamison: I'm just a plain old normal live non-psion human, thank the Lord. I'm not no sort of queen, I don't even wear dresses--- except to costume parties of course, and only if I can borrow a pair of nice fake titties from Remi.
Wow--- it comes out to be twenty questions. Isn't there a game like that? But I've had some fun playing with my characters even though I've pretty much given up hope on using them in an actual work of fiction that other folks might read.
So--- if you've read this far, you are tagged. Answer the questions from the point of view of your own characters. Not a writer, don't have characters? Make some up, it's fun!